Sacred Bulls

So, Shambo's been taken away to be destroyed.

How proud I was to watch our Soldiers of Freedom, smartly jackbooted and high visibility vested warriors protecting our society as they manhandled dangerous Hindu monks out of the path of DEFRA officials to enable them to slaughter the sacred animal.

The monks' crime?

"Sitting quietly and peacefully with intent to protect their freedom to practise their religion"

Now, I'm not a religious person. Far from it, I'm an atheist to the core, despite my parents' and school's determination to make me sit through enough worship to turn me into a believer. They failed. I don't believe. I never will.

I do, however, believe in people's right to believe whatever they like, and if they want to worship spaceships, cows, chickens, housebricks or whatever else, then that's fine by me - but when I watch televison pictures as were broadcast yesterday - pictures showing freedom to worship, freedom to protest, and freedom to fight the courts being suppressed by burly policemen, I feel despair for the society we're becoming.

Shambo was important to those monks. Fair enough, he'd tested positive for the potential to develop Bovine TB.

He hadn't actually got anything wrong with him.

He wasn't going to become part of the food chain.

He wasn't going to mix with other herds of cattle.

He wasn't going to be sold or transported.

Quite how this translates to a dire threat to public health, I'm not sure. I'm certainly no Bovine TB expert, but I haven't yet seen any convincing evidence from DEFRA, or the Welsh Assembly, or anybody else which would suggest that allowing Shambo to live out his existence presented any significant risk to anyone's health.

I've been pondering whether the authorities would have taken the same action had this been an Islamic community.

I don't know whether there are any sacred animals to Muslims, but imagine for one second that a mosque was infested with rats, and the leaders of that Mosque refused to let Environmental Health have access to the building.

Would the police invade the Mosque and start removing worshippers? In the current political climate, I suspect it is unlikely.

I imagine also that the police would think twice before invading a school and dragging children out if they were protesting against poor school dinners, similarly I doubt a Church of England Bishop would be hauled into the street if he preached a sermon which the authorities didn't like the sound of.

All of this, however, depends on the climate of the society in which we are living - and it is frightening to watch the gradual erosion of our rights. There is an increasing tendency for example, for people to be presumed guilty until proven innocent... hardly the inclusive, generous, caring society of the image our government seem so desperate to project to the rest of the world.

Once upon a time, about seventy years ago, there was another European country, whose society started unwittingly down a dark path which ultimately led to the deaths of millions of people. I'm not saying the same thing will happen again, but we're hardly making it easy to avoid.

Polar opposites.

There were two items back-to-back on the Radio 4 Today programme this morning which caught my attention, and which together showed up everything which is becoming wrong with the overbearing, mollycoddling nanny-state in which we are increasingly expected to exist.

Note that I don't use the word 'live'. Living is fast becoming an inaccurate term which can and should no longer be applied to those of us unfortunate to live in Great Britain. Living implies an element of individual thought and, as a result, an element of risk. Risks, as we all know from the Health and Safety Executive, amongst other pointless organisations, are to be avoided at all costs. Risks are 'A Bad Thing'.

So to the news - the first item was concerning a new scheme whereby local councils (or police forces, I'm not sure I can tell the difference any more) are to be allowed to install an 'all-new generation of roadside enforcement cameras'.

Fantastic. That's all we need as motorists in Britain. More enforcement cameras.

So what do these new cameras do, I hear you cry? Well, they're designed to catch those drivers committing that most heinous of crimes - the crime of 'Wilfully or Accidentally (We Don't Care Which) Straying into an (Underused and Inconveniently Positioned) Cycle Lane'. The penalty, we were told, was to be a fixed penalty of £120.

This sanction, it was said, was to underline and reinforce the point that cyclists have as much right to use the roads safely as the evil car drivers out there. It conveniently skirted around the facts - that cyclists don't pay road tax, that there is no requirement for their cycles to be routinely checked for roadworthiness and mechanical safety, that cyclists are not obliged to be in possession of any insurance, that they are not required to wear any form of safety clothing, that they are not required to undergo any formal training nor sit a test, and that they in no way contribute to the upkeep of the road network as a whole.

So, I ask the following questions:

• Do cyclists really have as much right as car drivers to be on the road?
• Is it sensible that the penalty for straying into a (most likely empty) cycle lane be twice that of using a hand held mobile phone whilst driving, or speeding?
• Will the 'cycle lane infringement' cameras be used for the additional purpose of catching and fining those cyclists weaving and wobbling out of control out of their dedicated lanes and into the path of the car drivers using their lanes?
• In light of the protection of the cyclists God-given rights to their own lanes, will car drivers be protected from those who squeeze past cars at traffic lights, banging off the mirrors of the vehicles they pass, scratching their paintwork with pedals and handlebars?
• Furthermore, will cyclists who use the pavement, cross pedestrian crossings, cycle the wrong way down one-way streets, ignore road markings and signage, fail to give hand signals at junctions, display no lights or reflectors after dusk, abandon their bicycles chained up wherever they please regardless of the hazard they cause, or any one more of dozens of bad habits they regularly display be prosecuted and slapped with a hefty fine on each occasion?

Of course the answer to all of these questions is 'No'. Of course none of the ideas presented could really work as cyclists don't have a registration plate advertising their identity to aid the easy generation of revenue. Sorry, I mean 'prevention of crime'.

So, just another example of the state protecting the vulnerable, in this case the cyclist by ironing out a threat to their existence? Maybe... but for the wrong reasons, and in the wrong way. This isn't responsible government - this is nanny state, Big Brother, 1984 kind of stuff. Taking an easy route once again, penalising the easy targets - motorists are used to paying up - rather than addressing the real issues at hand.

So the other news item that caught my ear? The discovery of an unmarked mass grave, home to the remains of over 400 British and Australian soldiers, buried by the German army after the battle of Fromelles which took place during July 1916.

Brave men, who gave up their lives to protect that which was sacred to them.

Freedom.

Freedom. Only seven letters, but the biggest word in the world. Those brave young men died to protect theirs - the freedom to live, and think for themselves. The same freedom which is slowly but surely being taken away from all of us. Not through the actions of a despotic tyrant, nor a government driven by hatred and greed - but through our own apathy, through our own inability to stand up, speak out, and to paraphrase the words of Dylan Thomas, shout:

"We will not go quietly into the night, we will rage rage against the dying of the light"

In memory of those brave soldiers - please take a moment to be silent as you read the following, from 'For the Fallen' by Laurence Binyon.

"They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old;

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun, and in the morning

We will remember them."

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage...

So, yesterday we had the report, this morning the comments. If you've been living in a cupboard, you will not be aware that David Cameron's Conservative party yesterday published a wide ranging report resulting from an 18 month review carried out by Iain Duncan Smith into social problems in Britain.

Amongst some 190 different recommendations to tackle the five key 'paths to poverty' the report identified, were plans to provide tax breaks equivalent to around £20 a week in the pockets of married couples.

Now, I'm sorry, but I think they've missed a trick here. On the Today programme this morning, the comment was made that a couple bringing up 4 children were worse off, so deserved Government help in meeting their financial commitments. I don't have any children. I don't particularly want any, either, but I can't help noticing I'd be in line for a load of Government money coming my way if I had one or two. Tax credits, child benefits, nursery vouchers to name a few.

So what about those of us who form part of a stable couple (who will be married in March 2008), who don't burden the health service or education system?

We both work and pay tax and National Insurance, neither of us are entitled to or claim any benefits, neither of us are entitled to free prescriptions (my partner requires regular asthma medicines - and these for no good reason whatsoever are excluded from free provision, whilst at the same time the government is positively encouraging 13 year olds to take advantage of free contraceptives!), neither of us receive free dentistry... need I continue?

I pump a lot of money into the British economy through taxes and personal spending, yet I receive nothing in return. The health service is a shambles, the cost of living rising year on year at an alarming pace, and hard work seems to now be an exception rather than the norm.

Where's the tax breaks for those of us who don't use any of the funds the government takes from us? Why don't I get a rebate from my NI when I don't use the NHS?

Could it be because I'm an easy target?

I'm back!

OK, I apologise. If anyone out there in internet-land has been eagerly awaiting a new entry, I'm sorry. I've been slacking, badly, and it's been nearly three months since I posted.

I'm now approaching a quieter time at work, and so I'll probably have a lot more time to get irritated about stuff.

So what's happened since I last posted? Well, far too much to go into in any detail, but I've been on holiday in Scotland, which was as expected both wet and midge-ridden, although that didn't prevent me having a fantastic time.

I've had my 30th birthday, which as milestones go wasn't that remarkable - I honestly don't understand what all the fuss is about, but I did have a very nice day.

I've been measured up for my wedding outfit, which will consist of full formal Scottish Highland Dress. As an interesting point to note, wearing a kilt (or, possibly, a skirt, although about that I couldn't possibly comment) is a tremendously liberating experience for any man who hasn't tried it before. I won't go into any more detail than that.

I have had a payrise, although compared to the relentless march of inflation and interest rate rises in the UK, broadly speaking it's pretty much irrelevant.

We've had a new Prime Minister. I really wish I could think of something nice to say, but I can't, and my Mum always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... But who listens to their Mum at 30 years old, eh?

So, we have a new Prime Minister. Ably taking over the role of steering our once great nation into international disrepute and economic decline, the Great Apostle Gordon Brown was ushered into office, unelected by all and unwanted by many, at the end of June.

First job on the agenda was to assemble a rag-tag band of little known, largely illiterate and staunchly fawning brown nosed Labour ministers to form Gordon's first Cupboard. Or Cabinet, or something - but definitely NOT a sofa.

Gordon Brown doesn't like sofa-style Governments, oh no. Instead, he's built a sort of Ikea government for us, if you will. Flat packed, unattractively packaged and likely to fall apart at the slightest provocation, the various bits which were missing will no doubt resurface at some point in the future, most likely about five minutes after they were necessary to avert a disastrous break-up of the furniture they should have held together.

He'll probably find them down the back of the sofa.

There you go look, now I've made myself miserable. I doubt it'll be another three months until I see you again!

Mummy, I'm frightened!

On the way in to work this morning, the Radio 4 Today programme ran a piece on whether or not Europe would be safer if we let the Americans build a 'missile shield', intended to knock out missiles on their way to melt us all.

Now, to me, the idea of letting the Americans do anything to make us safer is bloody terrifying. Let's just have a look at what's happened since they led us proudly into Iraq, shall we? I defy anyone to look me in the eye and honestly tell me they feel safer since Colonel Bush stood on the deck of that Aircraft carrier and told us 'Mission Accomplished' - except possibly Iraqi bread-thieves, who I suppose at least no longer have to worry about their hands being hacked off.

That aside, my fear was sparked when Mr. All American spokesperson popped on to tell us all about how dangerous the world was (whilst glossing over the fact that this is in no small part the Americans' fault), how Russia's objections to the shield project needed to be overcome, and how important it is that we as Europeans can all sleep soundly in our beds at night, safe in the knowledge that Uncle Sam is keeping a watchful eye on us.

Whilst Mr. All American was telling us this, I was starting to wonder where exactly all these missiles were going to be coming from. Now, I don't buy the 'China's going to nuke everyone' argument, because if China did that, where would they sell cheap motorcycles and knock-off Power Rangers? I can't see Russia's likely to start that whole Cold War thing up again, because it's not like it did anyone any good last time. I suppose we should probably worry about the Germans, because they're long overdue for an attempt at taking over Europe again, a little like Mount Fuji being overdue for an eruption.

Was I right? In the American parlance, 'Hell No'. In fact, we should be wary of missiles launched from other threatening places, like Bunny Land, Lovelitania and Cutelittlekittenia. Oh, and Iran.

What's that, Iran? Well, blow me down. In his desperate quest to name a credible threat to our saftey, Mr. All American chooses... Iran. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that sound just a tiny bit like a Sabre rattling? That's a bit like a guy in a pub, unprovoked, loudly accusing 'Big Dave 'Crusher' McDeath' of being an imminent threat to his saftey and then wondering why he's on his back in a pile of his own vomit ten seconds later. There's nothing like accusing someone of something to make them want to do it to you even more.

So, when I go to bed tonight, I shall sleep fitfully. Not because of the lack of an American missile shield. Not because of the Iranian threats to my safety. No, I shall toss and turn because the Americans seem to be the ones hell-bent on putting us all in danger.

So, I'm going to take a wild guess that by this time next year, we'll be watching Tomahawks raining down on Tehran, while a helmeted idiot of a world leader tells us all we're much safer now. Mission Accomplished.

Time for my medication. Bye for now.

So, what's bugging me today?

Earlier on today, I went to Sunderland Civic Centre to sign some kind of forms for the Registrar of marriages. This is, obviously, because I'm getting married next year. For anyone reading this who knows me, they will also know that this is a big step for me. Not big as in deciding what car to buy big, but big as in Neil Armstrong walking on the Moon big.

None of this is relevant to what's bugging me. On the contrary, I'm actually quite happy about the whole marriage thing, oddly enough. No, what's really got to me today was what I saw on the way home.

Some people may be aware that there's some kind of elections going on soon. No, I don't know what for either, I only know they're happening because I got a form through the post - but as usual I shall submit my postal vote for the party or candidate that takes my fancy on the day.

I can, however, categorically state that no one remotely connected with Saint Tony Blair or the Labour Party of Perfect Britain will be the recipient of my hard earned vote. This is mainly because I consider Saint Tone to be a bit of an arrogant, ill-informed, pretentious, self-righteous, warmongering pillock, but also due to the fact that everyone associated with him I also consider to be arrogant, ill-informed, pretentious, self-righteous, warmongering pillocks.

Anyway, on the way home, I drove past a house with a large, proud billboard displayed outside proclaiming 'We Vote Labour'.

Great. Brilliant. I'm pleased for you, all of you, living in that house. What I can't quite get my head around, however, is just what would motivate someone to so publicly proclaim their undying devotion to a political party which has, over a period of ten years in government, so completely shafted our previously great nation.

I just don't get it. Surely no one can still be so blinkered as to believe any of the innumerable lies the British government tell us every day. This year the edited highlights include a budget which yet again disadvantages the hard working single, childless middle income earner whilst pandering to the dole-claiming, baby-machine underclass taking over our country and a propaganda victory for the Iranians - amongst other things.

I can only surmise that those who so proudly boast of their Labour votes are those who have always, and will always, vote Labour because their Dad, and Grandad before him voted Labour. Now, this is NOT a good reason for casting a vote in a certain direction. Far from it. What happened to freedom of opinion? Maybe some people just don't HAVE an opinion - and if they don't, WHY BOTHER VOTING? Let those of us who are intelligent enough to make our minds up vote for the candidates and parties we want, and let the sheep follow, as is their wont.

On a brighter note, yesterday morning I heard a Conservative party member proclaim on the BBC Radio 4 Today programme that the Conservatives will 'say no to a national road charging scheme'. Earlier on in 2007 nearly 1.7 million Britons signed an 'e-petition' declaring their opposition to Labour's 'Big Brother' vehicle tracking and charging plans.

Well, that's 1.7 million guaranteed Conservative votes next General Election then. Should be enough to oust the Labour government, with any luck. No one voted for Gordon Brown, did they?

If I'm the last one out, I promise I WILL turn out the lights. Click.

Today's mini-rants

Well, it's been too long since I added anything to this catalogue of pain, so I thought I'd get wound up about some things today.

Actually, that's not quite true. It was suggested last night during a conversation with one of my friends that maybe I could include some mini-rants about things which didn't quite tip me into insane rage, but which rather left me mildly irritable. So today, I thought it would be a jolly good wheeze to make notes during the working day of all the things that annoyed me, and when. I have also assigned each upsetting experience with an 'irritant level' between 1 and 5 (5 being full blown rage). So here we go:

08:10 - I went to the dishwasher in the office to put in my mugs. Typically, it was full of (for once) clean mugs and cutlery. What's irritating about that? The cutlery was all in the tray HANDLE UP! Now, call me a stickler, but if the handle's uppermost as the cutlery dries watermarks end up left all over the action-end of the item. I DO NOT want to stir my coffee with a watermarked spoon. So I turned all the cutlery over and put the dishwasher back on. Irritant level 4.

09:02 - An icon mysteriously has 'disappeared' from a user's desktop. I suspect it was probably deleted, and I'm sure the user knows that this is probably the most likely explanation. So why don't they just say 'I think I've deleted my icon' instead of 'The icon has vanished overnight'. Icon's don't just get bored and decide to pack up and leave. It DOESN'T HAPPEN. Irritant level 3.

09:30 - I have a standing order in place for the users I have to deal with. Before reporting any issues with any IT or Telecommunications hardware or software, it must be restarted from a full power-down. By 09:30 this morning I had dealt with three separate 'issues' each of which was resolved with a simple restart. People regularly comment on how 'you always tell us to restart'. Yes, I do. Because it WORKS. So why in the name of Christ can't they just bloody well restart the damn thing before they panic and come running to me? Irritant level 3.

09:30-10:00 - More unrestarted equipment breaks down and is fixed with a restart. Getting pretty fed up with it now. Irritant level 4.

10:46 - I find my three mugs have been removed from the now silent dishwasher (replete with a selection of shiny, handle down cutlery) and left haphazardly scattered around the kitchen. Everyone else's mugs are either on their desks, or in the cupboard. So why are mine just lying around. Irritant level 2.

12:00 - Lunchtime. During which I am interrupted seven times for various things, including a phone which is making an odd dialtone noise. The phone is still working perfectly in every way. I have to ask, was that worth interrupting my lunch for? I even have people who come in and say 'Oh, are you having your lunch?', to which I respond 'Yes, I am'. They then proceed to continue with the details of whatever it was they wanted to interrupt me for, but at least now they KNOW they're interrupting my lunch, because they asked. Irritant level 3.

13:00 - Other People's lunchtime. Why is it that interrupting anyone else's lunch is perceived to be the ultimate crime? I still have to perform at 100% capacity, even whilst eating, so why does everyone else switch off for an hour and get away with it? I tell you, the only time I get any peace is in the toilet. Irritant level 4.

14:50 - Summertime. How can anyone work in an office with the HVAC system turned up to 23 degrees Centigrade? The temperature in my office must have been in the late 20s this afternoon, thanks to the useless air conditioning system, with the result that I started to get quite nauseated, and eventually threw up for no apparent reason. And there are still people wearing jumpers. God almighty, it's like a bloody sauna in here, with the exception that we're missing some sweaty old fat men 'slimming' the easy way, and a couple of rather too well groomed chiselled young men, who are most probably very, very kind to their mothers, and have some very close male friends. VERY close. Irritant level 5 (because of the actual sickness).

15:45 - Printers. Need I say more? Irritant level 4.

17:15 - BMW drivers. 330Ci Coupe, 735i, and a 645Ci today, all with suited and booted drivers chatting merrily away on their hand held mobiles. Irritant level 5.

19:00 - The coal man's computer. The guy two doors up asked me a couple of weeks ago to have a look at his PC, which was allegedly virus infested. Now, I have never come across a cleaner home computer. AdAware, Norton AV, Norton Anti-Spyware, and manual checks revealed no sign of anything nasty or naughty on the machine. So where's the problem? In the Google search box, a festering population of searches including 'www. gay boys haveing sex with each other.com' (complete with spaces and 'e' in having). This search box, when cleared, mysteriously filled itself up again with the same rubbish. Now, in my mind, that's likely to mean that someone is TYPING IT IN. I'd disabled all the 'let Google Toolbar help me find porn' functionality I could find, yet still this stuff was appearing. So today I went around once again at his behest to see whether I could fix it again. I found nothing wrong. Nothing at all, so I disabled AutoComplete on web forms and left. Irritant level 4.

Now, that's about all I can really be bothered with for now. I'm going to have a drink, and then watch some television.

Goodnight fans.

Angry Dan

Idiotic, unreasoned, and unreasonable.

I'd like to just touch briefly on the subject of motorcycling, motorcyclist safety, and our beloved Labour government.

If anyone's actually reading this, they may or may not be aware of the idiotic suggestion that motorcycles should be restricted in power and top speed to prevent deaths and injury of bikers on British roads. Let me just quote (as originally written, so excuse the grammatical errors).

"I have never heard such arrogant drivel, in defence of bikers, as spouted by Steve berry on today’s programme.Sure there are bad drivers but it seems to me that nearly bikers can't or won’t obey the laws of the road.I live in rural North Wales aleast a quarter of a mile across fields from the main road. Every week-end it's the same.Loud bikes going at least 90 mph overtaking on blind crests, blind bends & even double white lines as if they don't need to take any care.They frighten motorists by coming behind then roaring past, in a cacophony of noise, out of nowhere.In the summer months hardly a week goes by without some biker being killed or injured on the roads of North Wales.If it were up to me I would ban the lot of them.Or throttle the power back to 80mph.One biker was clocked by the North Wales police at speeds of upto 130 mph on narrow country rods with other road users."

As written by 'Stuart P' on the Radio 4 PM programme blog yesterday evening. Now, Stuart P obviously is very much anti-bike, and anti-biker, and I for one, as a responsible motorcyclist, take issue with his points of view.

There are thousands, if not tens of thousands of riders like me. We don't fit into the categories in which Stuart wishes us to reside. Yes, I own a fast bike. It's capable of 160mph, and it will accelerate to 60mph in less time than it takes you to say 'Stuart P is a bigoted cretin'. Both of these facts combined, however, do not add up to me being some psychotic speed-freak with a desire to die, or to kill.

I ride for the freedom, and the pleasure. I ride all year round, in all weather if I have to, and any day of the week. Now, I'm not going to lie and say that on occasion I don't break the speed limit. I'm sure even the saintly Stuart has found himself creeping over 30mph in residential areas. Show me a driver who claims not to break any laws, and I'll find you a liar - but my point is, the majority of the 'Loud bikes going at least 90 mph overtaking on blind crests, blind bends & even double white lines as if they don't need to take any care' are ridden by what we in the biking community know as 'weekend warriors'. They own a big bike. They ride it fast, and often recklessly - and they do it for four or five sunny months of the year. The rest of the year, they drive cars.

Saint Stuart even alludes to this - 'In the summer months hardly a week goes by without some biker being killed or injured on the roads of North Wales'. Absolutely right, in the summer months many of the fair weather bikers will be killed or injured, as they out-ride their skills, dulled by six months of winter off their machine.

These are not 'the lot of them'. These are a minority, very much like the minority of car drivers who choose to race around in souped-up Vauxhall Corsas or Citroën Saxos, causing similar mayhem on our roads. The major difference is that these drivers often do their disruption in towns, late at night, and when they do crash, they survive - not through enhanced skills, but enhanced safety inherent in sitting in a metal box.

As a car driver, and biker, I can categorically state that bikers in general have a far greater awareness of traffic, hazards, and other vehicles than car drivers. Daily I witness countless drivers chatting happily on handheld mobile phones whilst driving, changing lanes without indicating, sitting for mile upon mile in the outside or middle lane of motorways, even reading papers spread over the steering wheel or eating toast and drinking tea. In fact, I work with someone who admits to the latter two very readily.

These are the people frightened by motorcyclists 'coming behind then roaring past, in a cacophony of noise, out of nowhere'. Out of nowhere? Maybe if they used their mirrors for observation of the world around them, they would have a greater awareness of the existence of other road users.

So Saint Stuart - Don't tar us all with the same brush. I'm sure your bigotry doesen't extend as far as asserting that all Muslims are terrorists, or that all Afro-Caribbeans are murderous gang-members - but it doesn't stop far short.

Good night, and sleep well.

Angry Dan

What is going on in the world?

Listening to the radio this morning, there was much being made of the Britain-Iran situation. Now, in many ways, this is understandable, as it's a big issue at the moment - but what's struck my mind is that everyone seems to have missed how convenient this whole situation is.

Iran takes a few of our sailors hostage, just when the US are banging on about Iran being next on 'the list', and touting for international support. Surely, an escalation of diplomatic tension between the UK and Iran gives Tony 'Warhammer' Blair the perfect reason to back up George Bush and his band of Washington hicks when they start lobbing missiles in the general direction of the Middle East.

Now, excuse me for being cynical, but what evidence have we got to prove that the original incident did NOT take place in Iranian waters? Oh, that's right. Some GPS records. Now, remind me once again, who is it who owns and runs the Global Positioning Satellites? How hard can it really be to fake/adjust a few numbers? It's hardly the Roswell conspiracy, is it?

Helpfully enough, you don't have to convince the GPS computers to lie for their country, they just do whatever the hell they're told. Which is nice, if you want to cover up a deliberate (or even accidental) incursion into foreign territory, or if you want to make shipping believe it's off course. Jeez, they even did that in one of the Bond films, and if Pierce Brosnan can work out what's going on, I'm pretty sure that I can't be the only member of the British public to notice what might be going on here.

Now, I may come across as just another lunatic fringe conspiracist, but let me just tell you that:

1) I don't believe in the Grassy Knoll gunman.
2) I don't believe Aliens walk the earth amongst us, although Gordon Brown does do a reasonable impression.
3) I don't believe the moon landing was faked.
4) I don't believe Diana was assassinated.
5) I don't believe 9/11 was actually an American plot to support the 'war on terror'.
6) I don't believe that Microsoft are secretly building an intelligent OS to take over the world.
7) I don't believe in the Da Vinci Code.
8) I don't believe the Nazis landed on the moon in 1942 and built a secret base there.
9) I don't believe that Dinosaur-like reptiles rule the earth.
10) Elvis is dead. Get over it.

Thanks for reading!

Angry Dan

Welcome! About Me, and my Blog...

Hi, and welcome to my blog. In case you haven't guessed, I'm Dan, and I'm angry. Very, very angry. I'm often told I'm 29 going on 59, but that's not true really. I'm much closer to 30 now, and so I reckon in attitude terms, I'm about 62 and a half.

So what's it all about then, this blogging thing? Initially I thought 'I don't really know, and quite frankly, I'm not sure I really care' - but then something struck me. Maybe, just maybe, I could find some solace, maybe some therapy, writing about the stuff I spend too much time thinking about.

I spend a frightening proportion of my time awake getting angry about things. Not just the big stuff, like someone eating my dog, or nicking my car - but about some of the really small things, like when the ketchup top flips closed too fast and sprays sauce on your face. Now normal people would just shrug and wipe it off. Not Angry Dan, oh no - in my mind, that tiny speck of sauce is tantamount to dropping a nuke on Tehran - christ, who'd be surprised if THAT started a war?

Anyway, before I go off on one about ketchup, Iran, Iraq, Tony sodding Blair and the rest of them with their 'safety cameras' and 'school reform' and... no... calm down... back on track - before I go off on one, let me get back to the point. As I was saying, I spend a lot of time angry, so what better way to spend the rest of my time than telling the world what I'm angry about on any given day? Or probably more likely, sometimes several times a day.

So why now? Well, I realised that I probably expend way too much of my available energy raging on at friends, colleagues, the radio, the television - in fact anyone who will (or, to be honest, won't) listen, and for what effect? None. That's what. No effect at all.

Hopefully, if I've got this blogging thing right, it'll be a great way not only to get it all off my chest, but hopefully to spread the misery wider than just among my close acquaintances. And maybe I'll meet a few like minded people along the way.

There'll no doubt be some recurring themes - As a keen motorist on both two and four wheels, I'll doubtless return to the subjects of 'Safety' Cameras, driving standards, the attitude of cars towards bikes, traffic, congestion, global warming... and others.

I'll also tell you about my work - but that's for another day, and another time - and if I run out of things to tell you about that, I might just tell you about myself.

Anyway, for now that's enough. I can feel my heart racing, and I'd like to live to blog again. It helps.

Thanks for listening!
Angry Dan