Today's mini-rants

Well, it's been too long since I added anything to this catalogue of pain, so I thought I'd get wound up about some things today.

Actually, that's not quite true. It was suggested last night during a conversation with one of my friends that maybe I could include some mini-rants about things which didn't quite tip me into insane rage, but which rather left me mildly irritable. So today, I thought it would be a jolly good wheeze to make notes during the working day of all the things that annoyed me, and when. I have also assigned each upsetting experience with an 'irritant level' between 1 and 5 (5 being full blown rage). So here we go:

08:10 - I went to the dishwasher in the office to put in my mugs. Typically, it was full of (for once) clean mugs and cutlery. What's irritating about that? The cutlery was all in the tray HANDLE UP! Now, call me a stickler, but if the handle's uppermost as the cutlery dries watermarks end up left all over the action-end of the item. I DO NOT want to stir my coffee with a watermarked spoon. So I turned all the cutlery over and put the dishwasher back on. Irritant level 4.

09:02 - An icon mysteriously has 'disappeared' from a user's desktop. I suspect it was probably deleted, and I'm sure the user knows that this is probably the most likely explanation. So why don't they just say 'I think I've deleted my icon' instead of 'The icon has vanished overnight'. Icon's don't just get bored and decide to pack up and leave. It DOESN'T HAPPEN. Irritant level 3.

09:30 - I have a standing order in place for the users I have to deal with. Before reporting any issues with any IT or Telecommunications hardware or software, it must be restarted from a full power-down. By 09:30 this morning I had dealt with three separate 'issues' each of which was resolved with a simple restart. People regularly comment on how 'you always tell us to restart'. Yes, I do. Because it WORKS. So why in the name of Christ can't they just bloody well restart the damn thing before they panic and come running to me? Irritant level 3.

09:30-10:00 - More unrestarted equipment breaks down and is fixed with a restart. Getting pretty fed up with it now. Irritant level 4.

10:46 - I find my three mugs have been removed from the now silent dishwasher (replete with a selection of shiny, handle down cutlery) and left haphazardly scattered around the kitchen. Everyone else's mugs are either on their desks, or in the cupboard. So why are mine just lying around. Irritant level 2.

12:00 - Lunchtime. During which I am interrupted seven times for various things, including a phone which is making an odd dialtone noise. The phone is still working perfectly in every way. I have to ask, was that worth interrupting my lunch for? I even have people who come in and say 'Oh, are you having your lunch?', to which I respond 'Yes, I am'. They then proceed to continue with the details of whatever it was they wanted to interrupt me for, but at least now they KNOW they're interrupting my lunch, because they asked. Irritant level 3.

13:00 - Other People's lunchtime. Why is it that interrupting anyone else's lunch is perceived to be the ultimate crime? I still have to perform at 100% capacity, even whilst eating, so why does everyone else switch off for an hour and get away with it? I tell you, the only time I get any peace is in the toilet. Irritant level 4.

14:50 - Summertime. How can anyone work in an office with the HVAC system turned up to 23 degrees Centigrade? The temperature in my office must have been in the late 20s this afternoon, thanks to the useless air conditioning system, with the result that I started to get quite nauseated, and eventually threw up for no apparent reason. And there are still people wearing jumpers. God almighty, it's like a bloody sauna in here, with the exception that we're missing some sweaty old fat men 'slimming' the easy way, and a couple of rather too well groomed chiselled young men, who are most probably very, very kind to their mothers, and have some very close male friends. VERY close. Irritant level 5 (because of the actual sickness).

15:45 - Printers. Need I say more? Irritant level 4.

17:15 - BMW drivers. 330Ci Coupe, 735i, and a 645Ci today, all with suited and booted drivers chatting merrily away on their hand held mobiles. Irritant level 5.

19:00 - The coal man's computer. The guy two doors up asked me a couple of weeks ago to have a look at his PC, which was allegedly virus infested. Now, I have never come across a cleaner home computer. AdAware, Norton AV, Norton Anti-Spyware, and manual checks revealed no sign of anything nasty or naughty on the machine. So where's the problem? In the Google search box, a festering population of searches including 'www. gay boys haveing sex with each other.com' (complete with spaces and 'e' in having). This search box, when cleared, mysteriously filled itself up again with the same rubbish. Now, in my mind, that's likely to mean that someone is TYPING IT IN. I'd disabled all the 'let Google Toolbar help me find porn' functionality I could find, yet still this stuff was appearing. So today I went around once again at his behest to see whether I could fix it again. I found nothing wrong. Nothing at all, so I disabled AutoComplete on web forms and left. Irritant level 4.

Now, that's about all I can really be bothered with for now. I'm going to have a drink, and then watch some television.

Goodnight fans.

Angry Dan