BT Issue Update

An update, just for interest's sake.

14/08/2010 - Receive a letter detailing the hundreds of pounds of cancellation charges I can expect. The letter explains that I will no longer receive: Unlimited Weekend Plan, Phone Line, BT Privacy at Home.

However, the letter also states that I will contnue to receive Broadband - Infinity Option 2.

Clearly, this is not what I want; and I am well out of my minimum contract term for my phone line so shouldn't incur any charges for cancellation anyway.

Ring BT. Speak to unhelpful person who tells me that actually the charges aren't for my phone line being cancelled but my Broadband. I try to explain to this BT drone that the letter says something completely different and that this is not A Good Thing.

Whilst trying to explain that I do not wish to pay charges due to BT's failure to uphold their end of the contract I've entered into, the drone decides to put me through to another department without letting me finish speaking. Very polite.

I speak to Sarah in Customer Options. She explains yet again that the charges in the letter are clearly just random numbers made up by some BT computer and don't in any way relate to the truth. She tells me that BT Infinity Technical support are 'awaiting a call from me' and have been since 3rd August. First I've heard of it. Sarah assures me that they are the only people who will be able to determine whether or not I pay cancellation charges. Sounds a bit fishy for me, bearing in mind that they're the 'Technical support' team, but eventually I agree to her putting me through.

I end up in the queue for Broadband faults. Not having been told which option to press in the idiotic list of choices, none of which are 'If you are a dissatisfied customer who just wants nothing more to do with BT press x', I settle for option 1.

After waiting in the queue for a while, I finally get through to a foreign call centre. Up to this point, the only thing I would have said was positive about my experience was that all the call centres I'd dealt with seemed to be UK based. Not any more.

So, I try to explain the situation to Xavier, and try to get across that this is way above the level of first line telephone support. He can't see any notes suggesting they're expecting a call. Eventually, Xavier puts me through to the Infinity technical team, to a very nice guy called Geoff (or Jeff, I guess).

First off, Geoff or Jeff rings me back as I told him the line was very quiet. He rings back on my mobile and I can hear a reassuringly British voice very clearly.

Geoff or Jeff also can't see the note about waiting for a call from me. He sounds very sympathetic, and seems genuinely surprised that this problem has been ongoing for so long. Geoff is surprised that Customer Options think that his team are able to decide on cancellation charges being applied or not. This is not the case, he tells me; Customer Options would make that decision. Clearly, I'm being given the runaround now. It feels to me that BT are interested only in frustrating me so much that I either get bored and stop ringing, or die on hold. Geoff or Jeff sounds quite sensible, and offers to speak to the engineering team while I hold. I accept.

After a while Geoff or Jeff comes back and tells me that the best way to deal with things is to raise a fault, which the engineers will then have 48 hours to resolve. I'm concerned that this is yet another delay, when all I really want is just to get out of BT's evil clutches and back into the relative safety of slow broadband from Sky. However, Geoff or Jeff assures me that this is the best way to get the problem resolved, and that the engineers will only have 48 hours so things should be sorted by Monday. He also advises me that if things aren't sorted by Monday, I can ring them back directly.

All in all, another hour and a half of my life wasted on this. I'm now waiting to see if anything happens, which I'm sure it won't.

As of right now, 21hrs after raising the fault, nothing has changed:

BT. It's been a while.

So, it's years since my last post, but BT have this month plumbed the depths of ineptitude to such an extent that I have been galvanised into action.

Now, I thought British Gas were as bad as it got. Oh My God, British Gas are awful, but coming in a close second were BT. BT have now reached sufficient heights of dreadfulness in my experience to be level pegging.

I have previously told British Gas sales people (who still ring me from time to time) that if they were the last energy supplier on Earth I would rather huddle up in a warm pile of my own faeces than use their energy and put money into their shambolic organisation. BT are now nipping at their heels when it comes to scraping the barrel of sub-mediocrity.

So what's happened? Well, for those who don't like long reads, give up now. For those of you who are happy to be taken on a voyage of discovery of uselessness, please keep going.

So there I was on 21st July... and I thought, having checked availability, that it would be great fun to order Infinity Option 2. I was with Sky at 13Mbps/0.7Mbps and wanted to order Infinity JUST for better upload speed. Unlike most, I'm not interested in evelenty-billion Gbps downloads, I just want to be able to upload photos to my website more quickly. BT told me I could have estimated 19.5/7.7Mbps speeds, which sounded A-OK to me. I'm only a couple of hundred yards from the cabinet so I was happy.

So I placed an order online, then received a 'Confirmation email' which I assumed was confirming the details. So, there are three things that need to happen; Installation date confirmed, equipment delivered, and engineer arriving and delivering the product I have signed up for. A contract between me and BT, in which I pay £24.99 a month and BT give me my up-to 40Mbps/10Mbps connection.

Three things. Guess how many BT managed to make a hash of? Yep. All three.

1) Installation date on my 'confirmation email' (cunning title that, designed to mislead!) was 29th July. After a couple of days I thought I'd check the online BT thing to see whether my order was progressing. Installation date online, 30th July. Rang BT to check which was right. Told 30th. Re-arranged my week again to ensure I could be at home.

2) Delivery of equipment. 'Confirmation email' confirmed that equipment would be delivered to the address I specified (at work, as there will be no-one at home). So, anyone care to guess where the equipment went? Yep. That's right. My home address; where a neighbour thankfully just happened to notice the postman and was able to take in the parcel for me. Brilliant.

3) Delivery. Now, this is where it gets complicated. Engineer was good, turning up on time, and establishing a connection. So, now remember what I ordered? Infinity Option 2... A contract between me and BT, in which I pay £24.99 a month and BT give me my up-to 40Mbps/10Mbps connection.

So, engineer runs the speedtest. 34Mbps down. Whoopdy do! 1.5Mbps up. Hang about, thats about 6Mbps shy of what I was hoping for. So I ask him to make sure everything's OK. He makes a phone call. Comes back and tells me that I've only got a 2Mbps service provisioned, but if I want more I can pay the extra £5 a month and have up to 10Mbps.

So, I explain that I've ordered the 40/10 service. He shows me the order on his laptop which confirms that Openreach have been asked to provision 40/2. BT are still showing me on Option 2 on their website, but I'm capped at 2Mbps.

I ring BT. They assure me that it won't be a problem to sort out, that I just have to wait until the order completes, then someone will make the speed change and call me back, no later than 'hopefully this evening (30/07) but no later than tomorrow morning (31/07). I get a text message confirming that this will happen, and giving me a number to ring to speak directly to the team dealing with the issue.

Afternoon of 31/07. No phone call. Still 2Mbps. Ring BT again on the special number. Get an answering maching message. Ring BT on 150. Listen to hold music. Speak to someone who is very apologetic but assures me that the issue will be resolved, can't understand why I couldn't speak to the other team, and offers to chase the issue.

4th August. Still 2Mbps. Ring BT. This time, the call centre operative finds a colleague who will hold to speak to the specialist team, and then ring me back when they know what's going on. Hear back that the team are dealing with it, but it will take 7 DAYS to make what I am certain is a simple software switch happen. Told that the issue will DEFINITELY be sorted by 10th August.

Worth mentioning that by this time, I have already been charged my first month's fee. £24.99. So I'm already paying for a service I'm not receiving. A service which BT are CONTRACTED to provide.

So, I get a text message at 20:58 on 4th August which says (copied from phone) "Message from BT Order Management - This is confirmation that our specialist team are dealing with your recent enquiry and will contact you before 8pm on Friday 6th August at the latest. Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience caused by this but be assured we are dealing with your enquiry"

Notice that. 8pm Friday 6th August "at the latest". Fast forward to Friday 6th August at 8pm. Guess what? No phone call.

So, I ring again and once again I'm told things will be sorted by 10th. Not happy, but I agree to wait until then. I am given the order number so I can track things online.

10th August. Arrive home from work at 6pm eager to try out my new superfast broadband. Oh, what's this? Still 2Mbps. Reset router/modem. Still 2Mbps. Run speedtester.bt.com for about the millionth time. Line profile still 2000Kbps. Check online. Order is showing as COMPLETED.

Ring BT. Apologised to again. Don't want apologies, want the service I'm paying for. Operatives 'can't understand' why the order's closed but not fulfilled. I don't care.

Tell BT that I want the issue resolved within 24hrs or they can cancel the contract as I'm not being provided with what I'm paying for... remember... A contract between me and BT, in which I pay £24.99 a month and BT give me my up-to 40Mbps/10Mbps connection. I have already paid my £24.99.

Operative comes back to tell me that the order people don't really understand either. Can't resolve it in 24hours. Not even 48. Or 72. I'm told that there's 'nothing they can do' except make we wait another 7 DAYS until 17th (when I'm quite sure nothing will get done once again). I tell the operative not to bother as I'm not interested any more, and he gives me a number for cancellations.

Ring BT again, and I ask to cancel my broadbamd. Explain why when asked. Operative then tells me I 'can't cancel yet as there's an outstanding order'. Yep. That's right, the order I asked the previous operative not to bother with. It's been placed and should complete on 17th.

Tell operative that she should cancel the order then cancel my broadband. She advises me that she can't just do that, as it will take 24hrs for the order (which I asked not to be placed, remember) to be completed as cancelled. After that, I HAVE TO RING BT BACK. Me. I have to chase the useless bunch or incompetents. Operative then offers to give me a MAC code instead so I can just place an order with another provider to migrate away.

So I ring Sky, and ask them if I might please be allowed to come back. And while I'm about it, can I take Sky line rental too so I don't have to keep paying BT?

Well done BT/Openreach. Now you've lost out on everything. No line rental, no call charges, no broadband. Result.

You're welcome to your stupid Home Hub back as well. It's waiting for you to come and collect it.

Sacred Bulls

So, Shambo's been taken away to be destroyed.

How proud I was to watch our Soldiers of Freedom, smartly jackbooted and high visibility vested warriors protecting our society as they manhandled dangerous Hindu monks out of the path of DEFRA officials to enable them to slaughter the sacred animal.

The monks' crime?

"Sitting quietly and peacefully with intent to protect their freedom to practise their religion"

Now, I'm not a religious person. Far from it, I'm an atheist to the core, despite my parents' and school's determination to make me sit through enough worship to turn me into a believer. They failed. I don't believe. I never will.

I do, however, believe in people's right to believe whatever they like, and if they want to worship spaceships, cows, chickens, housebricks or whatever else, then that's fine by me - but when I watch televison pictures as were broadcast yesterday - pictures showing freedom to worship, freedom to protest, and freedom to fight the courts being suppressed by burly policemen, I feel despair for the society we're becoming.

Shambo was important to those monks. Fair enough, he'd tested positive for the potential to develop Bovine TB.

He hadn't actually got anything wrong with him.

He wasn't going to become part of the food chain.

He wasn't going to mix with other herds of cattle.

He wasn't going to be sold or transported.

Quite how this translates to a dire threat to public health, I'm not sure. I'm certainly no Bovine TB expert, but I haven't yet seen any convincing evidence from DEFRA, or the Welsh Assembly, or anybody else which would suggest that allowing Shambo to live out his existence presented any significant risk to anyone's health.

I've been pondering whether the authorities would have taken the same action had this been an Islamic community.

I don't know whether there are any sacred animals to Muslims, but imagine for one second that a mosque was infested with rats, and the leaders of that Mosque refused to let Environmental Health have access to the building.

Would the police invade the Mosque and start removing worshippers? In the current political climate, I suspect it is unlikely.

I imagine also that the police would think twice before invading a school and dragging children out if they were protesting against poor school dinners, similarly I doubt a Church of England Bishop would be hauled into the street if he preached a sermon which the authorities didn't like the sound of.

All of this, however, depends on the climate of the society in which we are living - and it is frightening to watch the gradual erosion of our rights. There is an increasing tendency for example, for people to be presumed guilty until proven innocent... hardly the inclusive, generous, caring society of the image our government seem so desperate to project to the rest of the world.

Once upon a time, about seventy years ago, there was another European country, whose society started unwittingly down a dark path which ultimately led to the deaths of millions of people. I'm not saying the same thing will happen again, but we're hardly making it easy to avoid.

Polar opposites.

There were two items back-to-back on the Radio 4 Today programme this morning which caught my attention, and which together showed up everything which is becoming wrong with the overbearing, mollycoddling nanny-state in which we are increasingly expected to exist.

Note that I don't use the word 'live'. Living is fast becoming an inaccurate term which can and should no longer be applied to those of us unfortunate to live in Great Britain. Living implies an element of individual thought and, as a result, an element of risk. Risks, as we all know from the Health and Safety Executive, amongst other pointless organisations, are to be avoided at all costs. Risks are 'A Bad Thing'.

So to the news - the first item was concerning a new scheme whereby local councils (or police forces, I'm not sure I can tell the difference any more) are to be allowed to install an 'all-new generation of roadside enforcement cameras'.

Fantastic. That's all we need as motorists in Britain. More enforcement cameras.

So what do these new cameras do, I hear you cry? Well, they're designed to catch those drivers committing that most heinous of crimes - the crime of 'Wilfully or Accidentally (We Don't Care Which) Straying into an (Underused and Inconveniently Positioned) Cycle Lane'. The penalty, we were told, was to be a fixed penalty of £120.

This sanction, it was said, was to underline and reinforce the point that cyclists have as much right to use the roads safely as the evil car drivers out there. It conveniently skirted around the facts - that cyclists don't pay road tax, that there is no requirement for their cycles to be routinely checked for roadworthiness and mechanical safety, that cyclists are not obliged to be in possession of any insurance, that they are not required to wear any form of safety clothing, that they are not required to undergo any formal training nor sit a test, and that they in no way contribute to the upkeep of the road network as a whole.

So, I ask the following questions:

• Do cyclists really have as much right as car drivers to be on the road?
• Is it sensible that the penalty for straying into a (most likely empty) cycle lane be twice that of using a hand held mobile phone whilst driving, or speeding?
• Will the 'cycle lane infringement' cameras be used for the additional purpose of catching and fining those cyclists weaving and wobbling out of control out of their dedicated lanes and into the path of the car drivers using their lanes?
• In light of the protection of the cyclists God-given rights to their own lanes, will car drivers be protected from those who squeeze past cars at traffic lights, banging off the mirrors of the vehicles they pass, scratching their paintwork with pedals and handlebars?
• Furthermore, will cyclists who use the pavement, cross pedestrian crossings, cycle the wrong way down one-way streets, ignore road markings and signage, fail to give hand signals at junctions, display no lights or reflectors after dusk, abandon their bicycles chained up wherever they please regardless of the hazard they cause, or any one more of dozens of bad habits they regularly display be prosecuted and slapped with a hefty fine on each occasion?

Of course the answer to all of these questions is 'No'. Of course none of the ideas presented could really work as cyclists don't have a registration plate advertising their identity to aid the easy generation of revenue. Sorry, I mean 'prevention of crime'.

So, just another example of the state protecting the vulnerable, in this case the cyclist by ironing out a threat to their existence? Maybe... but for the wrong reasons, and in the wrong way. This isn't responsible government - this is nanny state, Big Brother, 1984 kind of stuff. Taking an easy route once again, penalising the easy targets - motorists are used to paying up - rather than addressing the real issues at hand.

So the other news item that caught my ear? The discovery of an unmarked mass grave, home to the remains of over 400 British and Australian soldiers, buried by the German army after the battle of Fromelles which took place during July 1916.

Brave men, who gave up their lives to protect that which was sacred to them.

Freedom.

Freedom. Only seven letters, but the biggest word in the world. Those brave young men died to protect theirs - the freedom to live, and think for themselves. The same freedom which is slowly but surely being taken away from all of us. Not through the actions of a despotic tyrant, nor a government driven by hatred and greed - but through our own apathy, through our own inability to stand up, speak out, and to paraphrase the words of Dylan Thomas, shout:

"We will not go quietly into the night, we will rage rage against the dying of the light"

In memory of those brave soldiers - please take a moment to be silent as you read the following, from 'For the Fallen' by Laurence Binyon.

"They shall not grow old as we that are left grow old;

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun, and in the morning

We will remember them."

Love and Marriage, Love and Marriage...

So, yesterday we had the report, this morning the comments. If you've been living in a cupboard, you will not be aware that David Cameron's Conservative party yesterday published a wide ranging report resulting from an 18 month review carried out by Iain Duncan Smith into social problems in Britain.

Amongst some 190 different recommendations to tackle the five key 'paths to poverty' the report identified, were plans to provide tax breaks equivalent to around £20 a week in the pockets of married couples.

Now, I'm sorry, but I think they've missed a trick here. On the Today programme this morning, the comment was made that a couple bringing up 4 children were worse off, so deserved Government help in meeting their financial commitments. I don't have any children. I don't particularly want any, either, but I can't help noticing I'd be in line for a load of Government money coming my way if I had one or two. Tax credits, child benefits, nursery vouchers to name a few.

So what about those of us who form part of a stable couple (who will be married in March 2008), who don't burden the health service or education system?

We both work and pay tax and National Insurance, neither of us are entitled to or claim any benefits, neither of us are entitled to free prescriptions (my partner requires regular asthma medicines - and these for no good reason whatsoever are excluded from free provision, whilst at the same time the government is positively encouraging 13 year olds to take advantage of free contraceptives!), neither of us receive free dentistry... need I continue?

I pump a lot of money into the British economy through taxes and personal spending, yet I receive nothing in return. The health service is a shambles, the cost of living rising year on year at an alarming pace, and hard work seems to now be an exception rather than the norm.

Where's the tax breaks for those of us who don't use any of the funds the government takes from us? Why don't I get a rebate from my NI when I don't use the NHS?

Could it be because I'm an easy target?

I'm back!

OK, I apologise. If anyone out there in internet-land has been eagerly awaiting a new entry, I'm sorry. I've been slacking, badly, and it's been nearly three months since I posted.

I'm now approaching a quieter time at work, and so I'll probably have a lot more time to get irritated about stuff.

So what's happened since I last posted? Well, far too much to go into in any detail, but I've been on holiday in Scotland, which was as expected both wet and midge-ridden, although that didn't prevent me having a fantastic time.

I've had my 30th birthday, which as milestones go wasn't that remarkable - I honestly don't understand what all the fuss is about, but I did have a very nice day.

I've been measured up for my wedding outfit, which will consist of full formal Scottish Highland Dress. As an interesting point to note, wearing a kilt (or, possibly, a skirt, although about that I couldn't possibly comment) is a tremendously liberating experience for any man who hasn't tried it before. I won't go into any more detail than that.

I have had a payrise, although compared to the relentless march of inflation and interest rate rises in the UK, broadly speaking it's pretty much irrelevant.

We've had a new Prime Minister. I really wish I could think of something nice to say, but I can't, and my Mum always told me if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all... But who listens to their Mum at 30 years old, eh?

So, we have a new Prime Minister. Ably taking over the role of steering our once great nation into international disrepute and economic decline, the Great Apostle Gordon Brown was ushered into office, unelected by all and unwanted by many, at the end of June.

First job on the agenda was to assemble a rag-tag band of little known, largely illiterate and staunchly fawning brown nosed Labour ministers to form Gordon's first Cupboard. Or Cabinet, or something - but definitely NOT a sofa.

Gordon Brown doesn't like sofa-style Governments, oh no. Instead, he's built a sort of Ikea government for us, if you will. Flat packed, unattractively packaged and likely to fall apart at the slightest provocation, the various bits which were missing will no doubt resurface at some point in the future, most likely about five minutes after they were necessary to avert a disastrous break-up of the furniture they should have held together.

He'll probably find them down the back of the sofa.

There you go look, now I've made myself miserable. I doubt it'll be another three months until I see you again!

Mummy, I'm frightened!

On the way in to work this morning, the Radio 4 Today programme ran a piece on whether or not Europe would be safer if we let the Americans build a 'missile shield', intended to knock out missiles on their way to melt us all.

Now, to me, the idea of letting the Americans do anything to make us safer is bloody terrifying. Let's just have a look at what's happened since they led us proudly into Iraq, shall we? I defy anyone to look me in the eye and honestly tell me they feel safer since Colonel Bush stood on the deck of that Aircraft carrier and told us 'Mission Accomplished' - except possibly Iraqi bread-thieves, who I suppose at least no longer have to worry about their hands being hacked off.

That aside, my fear was sparked when Mr. All American spokesperson popped on to tell us all about how dangerous the world was (whilst glossing over the fact that this is in no small part the Americans' fault), how Russia's objections to the shield project needed to be overcome, and how important it is that we as Europeans can all sleep soundly in our beds at night, safe in the knowledge that Uncle Sam is keeping a watchful eye on us.

Whilst Mr. All American was telling us this, I was starting to wonder where exactly all these missiles were going to be coming from. Now, I don't buy the 'China's going to nuke everyone' argument, because if China did that, where would they sell cheap motorcycles and knock-off Power Rangers? I can't see Russia's likely to start that whole Cold War thing up again, because it's not like it did anyone any good last time. I suppose we should probably worry about the Germans, because they're long overdue for an attempt at taking over Europe again, a little like Mount Fuji being overdue for an eruption.

Was I right? In the American parlance, 'Hell No'. In fact, we should be wary of missiles launched from other threatening places, like Bunny Land, Lovelitania and Cutelittlekittenia. Oh, and Iran.

What's that, Iran? Well, blow me down. In his desperate quest to name a credible threat to our saftey, Mr. All American chooses... Iran. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that sound just a tiny bit like a Sabre rattling? That's a bit like a guy in a pub, unprovoked, loudly accusing 'Big Dave 'Crusher' McDeath' of being an imminent threat to his saftey and then wondering why he's on his back in a pile of his own vomit ten seconds later. There's nothing like accusing someone of something to make them want to do it to you even more.

So, when I go to bed tonight, I shall sleep fitfully. Not because of the lack of an American missile shield. Not because of the Iranian threats to my safety. No, I shall toss and turn because the Americans seem to be the ones hell-bent on putting us all in danger.

So, I'm going to take a wild guess that by this time next year, we'll be watching Tomahawks raining down on Tehran, while a helmeted idiot of a world leader tells us all we're much safer now. Mission Accomplished.

Time for my medication. Bye for now.